Oi Polloi

Orlebar Brown

Published: Thu Jun 28 2012

When it comes to shorts, us Brits are often guilty of either flocking to the ‘George’ section of Asda, or scrambling for the scissors, which in turn leaves us looking either like Benidorm holiday revellers or Jimmy Cranky. Not the height of sophistication we’re sure you’ll agree.

Which brings us nicely onto Orlebar Brown, the shorts of choice for none other than England’s favourite sleazy spy — James Bond. As you’d expect from shorts worn by 007 (in the upcoming Skyfall film, to be a bit more specific), these aren’t your usual ill-fitting, last-minute holiday purchase baggies, and their tailored fit means they wouldn’t look out of place striding smugly out of a Saville Row haberdashery.

They’re actually billed as swimming shorts, but we think it sells them a bit short (no weak puns intended). To us, they’re a top quality, tailored pair of shorts that you can swim in. To rinse the Bond references a bit, they’re the shorts equivalent of the Lotus Esperit in The Spy Who Loved Me — they look great on land, but can cut it no problem when it comes to underwater action, which makes them ideal for everything from fending off sharks with a harpoon to dropping the odd pervy one-liner and chatting up deadly Russian beauties. All in the name of Her Majesty’s Secret Service of course…

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