Buster Neaton:
Not that there’s anything wrong with a bit of dress-up, but these days, it does sort-of feel like it’s jumped the shark a little bit. Young lads are wearing head-to-toe Gore-Tex to mill about Homebase, while the only time some sweatwear aficionados break a sweat is when they’re forcing down the rest of the ragu.
That maxim’s particularly pertinent to this character. Sure, his fancy trench coat, high-class cardigan and French stompers certainly gives the impression of a suave don-dada, but peel back the immaculately-tailored curtain and you’ll find a bloke who makes Mr. Bean look like James Dean.
Restaurants are reduced to rubble every time he heads out for soup… snooty upper-class type have their feathers well and truly ruffled whenever he accidentally wanders into a governor’s ball… and, unless you’re a fan of pratfalls and other assorted slapstick suffering, God forbid you ever catch him on public transport.
However, credit is where credit is due – at least he can manage to keep it together somewhat when he’s shopping at Oi Polloi for new garb… the incident where he scolded three staff members with a comically-large pot of hot Vimto notwithstanding.
The klutz is 6ft 1’’ and wears…
L’impermeabile Car Coat – L/54
Universal Works Fatigue Trousers – 32
Anonymous Ism Socks – one size
Paraboot Michael – 9