Witness Protection:
“Hey Ma, it’s me. I know the FBI said I’m not allowed contact with you since the witness protection programme shipped me to England, but rules be damned – a good son should always call to wish his mother a happy birthday.
“Things in England are going well. The weather is crap, the people aren’t as friendly as they are in the States (in fact, some are downright hostile) and I’ve not been able to find Synder’s Jalapeño Pretzel Bites anywhere, but my accent is improving and I’m starting to warm to the barren, remote village Agent Michaels dumped me in. They’ve even got red phone boxes here, like in those travel pictures the case worker showed you shortly before the Feds black-bagged me and sent me here! Ain’t that swell?
“Anyway, I best be off. I keep hearing someone heavy-breathing down the earpiece, so I think this line might be bugged. Hope you’re in good health and that Tommy ‘Two-Toes’ Tomasso hasn’t broken your kneecaps or whatever. Happy birthday!”
The protected witness is 6ft 1” and wears…
Poten Tweed Cap – OS
Oscar Deen Nelson sunglasses – OS
Oi Polloi Lambswool Scarf – OS
Beams Plus B.D. Oxford Shirt – XL
Andersons Casual Woven Belt – 36
orSlow M52 French Army Wide Fit Trousers – 3
Anonymous Ism 5 Colour Mix Socks – M